How to Avoid
International Dating Scams
Many, many positive things will come out of your foreign bride search, not the least of which - your exciting, new soul-mate. But I would be irresponsible
to not make mention of the various scam scenarios I have been aware of over the years. A certain percentage of foreign women join International
Marriage Agencies to attempt to secure short-term cash from gullible, well-meaning men. Nearly every man will encounter an attempted scam at some
point in his quest for international love. I truly believe if every guy would adopt a few basic rules of protocol there would be almost no instances
of guys getting duped at all.
DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANY GIRL YOU HAVE NEVER MET, ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH AND ARE NOT ENGAGED TO.
DO NOT SEND MONEY FOR INTERNET SUPPORT TO ANY GIRL YOU ARE WRITING TO. (DEPENDING ON AN AGENCY'S SPECIFIC POLICIES, IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO PAY THEM
FOR CORRESPONDENCE SERVICES WITH CERTAIN GIRLS BUT ALWAYS DO SO HAVING RESEARCHED THE AGENCY WITH RELIABLE REFERRALS.)
DO NOT EXPECT TO BUY A FOREIGN GIRL'S LOVE WITH EXPENSIVE GIFTS OR CASH. DO GIVE FLOWERS, CANDY AND NICE MODEST GIFTS TO ANY GIRL YOU ARE COURTING.
DO NOT BUY CELL PHONES, HOME COMPUTERS OR ENGLISH LESSONS FOR ANY GIRL YOU ARE NOT ENGAGED TO.
WAIT UNTIL YOUR FOREIGN FIANCEE'S ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY BEFORE YOU BUY AN EXPENSIVE ENGAGEMENT RING. IT SHOULD BE FINE TO PRESENT YOUR FIANCEE
WITH A MODEST RING IN HER COUNTRY, AT THE TIME OF ENGAGEMENT.
DO NOT EXPECT ANY FOREIGN GIRL FROM ANY COUNTRY TO GET A TOURIST VISA AND THUS COME AND VISIT YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE FIRST MEETING. KNOW YOU
WILL HAVE TO GET ON THE PLANE AND GO TO VISIT HER.
DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH OR FILE A FIANCEE VISA FOR ANY WOMAN WHO HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED A TRUE ATTRACTION AND HEALTHY AFFECTION FOR YOU.
IF YOU SUSPECT YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED, DO AN INTERNET SEARCH FOR YOUR FOREIGN GIRL'S NAME TO SEE IF ANY OTHER MEN HAVE POSTED INFORMATION ABOUT HER.
VISIT ANTI-SCAM SITES AND / OR READ RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON THE TOPIC TO INCREASE YOUR AWARENESS OF POSSIBLE RED FLAG BEHAVIORS.
REMEMBER THAT ALL VISAS INTO THE UNITED STATES, INCLUDING TOURIST VISAS, ARE ISSUED ONLY BY THE US EMBASSY IN HER COUNTRY. NO TRAVEL AGENCY IN ANY
FOREIGN COUNTRY HAS AUTHORITY TO SELL VISAS INTO THE US!
That's it. Sounds easy enough, right? One would think so, but if a guy has been scammed by a foreign girl there's a good chance one of the above
rules have been broken. I am by no means suggesting one be cheap and neglectful when it comes to a girl's birthday or special holidays like International
Women's Day. (March 8th is widely celebrated in other countries on the same scale as Valentine's Day in America. Do not forget your girl on this
of all days.) But I would spend very modestly until you know the girl to be sincere, reliable and solidly interested in you.
ONCE ENGAGED, YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH THAT PROCESS, I.E., POLICE REPORTS, DRIVING LESSONS, ENGLISH
LESSONS, TRAVEL TO HER INTERVIEW SITE, TRAVEL TO YOUR COUNTRY AND FILING FEES. None of these should overwhelm any guy who believes himself ready
to support a wife and family.
I once observed a Romance Tour Director begin his orientation in St. Petersburg by telling the guys “Look, let me give you some good advice
right now. If any of these women asks you for money, drop her and move on. If any lady gives you any amount of s--t on this tour, drop her and move
on. There will be hundreds of ladies other than her who would love to meet you for all the right reasons.” I thought to myself “Hmm,
that's kind of a crude 'How-Do-You-Do.'” But years later, I realize he was right on for being so blunt. It doesn't matter if there were twenty,
thirty or fifty guys on any given Romance Tour. There was always one who decided to ignore everything he was told in orientation and would inevitably
get scammed out of something.
I am completely convinced that most of the foreign women who submit profiles to International Marriage Agencies are decent, genuine ladies just
trying to meet a nice man for all the right reasons. I believe this because I personally have met and interviewed hundreds of such women over the
years. It would be irresponsible of me, however, to overlook the small percentage of foreign women - or men pretending to be women - who use international
dating and marriage sites to lure unsuspecting guys into sending them money.
A recent article from a Russian news-site describes a typical set-up:
"The scam was wonderfully simple. On the Internet were placed photos of beautiful girls that were claiming to look for foreign husbands.
Gullible grooms were sending future wives from Yoshkar-Ola money for travel expenses. And this was the end of the correspondence. 'A citizen
of USA applied to the Ministry of Home Affairs complaining that a Russian woman received from him more than 2000 US Dollars in a fraudulent way',
- says the press-secretary of the Ministry of Home Affairs, Anatoly Platonov. After receiving numerous complaints detectives of department 'K'
arrested 4 people in Yoshkar-Ola. The most interesting thing is that it was not the women that were corresponding with foreign men but 2 guys.
The beauties were only there to receive the money . They were paid $50 for each transfer."
I can imagine how it might have felt to learn that lovely Russian lass you were writing to, pouring your heart and soul into each letter, was ultimately
a big Russian brute named Vladimir and his equally loquacious cousin Ivan. I can see them laughing at each sentence you might have written. I am
sure they cleverly waited through a few weeks of correspondence, giving you time to develop a serious interest in the girl you thought you were
getting to know before writing one day to tell you the bittersweet news. “Honey, my sister's neighbor's cousin's hairdresser knows a girl
who works for a travel agency with close ties to the US Embassy and can secure for me a tourist visa to come and visit you. We can finally meet!
I can't wait! But (sob...) it seems not meant to be (boo hoo) because for me money is not possible (more sobbing.) Of course, you could send me
the money - but it seems wrong for me to ask it of you. Perhaps you can consider it. It costs about $1100. Aren't I worth $1100? Why not Western
Union some cash to me right now and I'll be there before you know it? And Honey, I'm bringing lingerie!” I shudder to think of how many men
fell prey to this exact scenario over the years.
One couple from California, he an American businessman and she his Russian bride, were tried and convicted a few years ago for defrauding men out
of thousands of dollars . The man's wife posed as each client's prospective foreign bride, promising to come and visit if he paid the travel costs.
Clients were let down at the last minute when they were notified she would not be able to make the trip due to unforeseen circumstances. Ouch!!
It is amazing to me, how many times over the years someone has asked me what I think of a letter they have just received which says basically some
version of the above. When I tell them it's an absolute scam, they simply don't believe me. I'll advise them to search the internet forums for posts
from guys who have been fooled into sending money in this way but it's obvious they're too blinded by love and fantasy to face the inevitable let-down.
I would guess roughly 25% of all the available profiles you will find to be scams designed to get into your wallet in some way. I want you -the
serious foreign bride finder - to see beyond the lies to the very real love that most certainly waits for you.