| How to Avoid International Dating Scams: An Excerpt From the Book "Foreign Bride 101" Many, many positive things will come out of your foreign bride search, not the least of which - your exciting, new soul-mate. But I would be irresponsible to not make mention of the various scam scenarios I have been aware of over the years. A certain percentage of foreign women join International Marriage Agencies to attempt to secure short-term cash from gullible, well-meaning men. Nearly every man will encounter an attempted scam at some point in his quest for international love. I truly believe if every guy would adopt a few basic rules of protocol there would be almost no instances of guys getting duped at all. THEY ARE: DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANY GIRL YOU HAVE NEVER MET, ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH AND ARE NOT ENGAGED TO. DO NOT SEND MONEY FOR INTERNET SUPPORT TO ANY GIRL YOU ARE WRITING TO. (DEPENDING ON AN AGENCY'S SPECIFIC POLICIES, IT MAY BE NECESSARY TO PAY THEM FOR CORRESPONDENCE SERVICES WITH CERTAIN GIRLS BUT ALWAYS DO SO HAVING RESEARCHED THE AGENCY WITH RELIABLE REFERRALS.) DO NOT EXPECT TO BUY A FOREIGN GIRL'S LOVE WITH EXPENSIVE GIFTS OR CASH. DO GIVE FLOWERS, CANDY AND NICE MODEST GIFTS TO ANY GIRL YOU ARE COURTING. DO NOT BUY CELL PHONES, HOME COMPUTERS OR ENGLISH LESSONS FOR ANY GIRL YOU ARE NOT ENGAGED TO. WAIT UNTIL YOUR FOREIGN FIANCEE'S ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY BEFORE YOU BUY AN EXPENSIVE ENGAGEMENT RING. IT SHOULD BE FINE TO PRESENT YOUR FIANCEE WITH A MODEST RING IN HER COUNTRY, AT THE TIME OF ENGAGEMENT. DO NOT EXPECT ANY FOREIGN GIRL FROM ANY COUNTRY TO GET A TOURIST VISA AND THUS COME AND VISIT YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE FIRST MEETING. KNOW YOU WILL HAVE TO GET ON THE PLANE AND GO TO VISIT HER. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH OR FILE A FIANCEE VISA FOR ANY WOMAN WHO HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED A TRUE ATTRACTION AND HEALTHY AFFECTION FOR YOU. IF YOU SUSPECT YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED, DO AN INTERNET SEARCH FOR YOUR FOREIGN GIRL'S NAME TO SEE IF ANY OTHER MEN HAVE POSTED INFORMATION ABOUT HER. VISIT ANTI-SCAM SITES AND / OR READ RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON THE TOPIC TO INCREASE YOUR AWARENESS OF POSSIBLE RED FLAG BEHAVIORS. PLEASE SEE THE INDEX AT THE BACK OF THIS BOOK FOR MY PERSONAL RECOMMENDATIONS. REMEMBER THAT ALL VISAS INTO THE UNITED STATES, INCLUDING TOURIST VISAS, ARE ISSUED ONLY BY THE US EMBASSY IN HER COUNTRY. NO TRAVEL AGENCY IN ANY FOREIGN COUNTRY HAS AUTHORITY TO SELL VISAS INTO THE US! |
| That's it. Sounds easy enough, right? One would think so, but if a guy has been scammed by a foreign girl there's a good chance one of the above rules have been broken. I am by no means suggesting one be cheap and neglectful when it comes to a girl's birthday or special holidays like International Women's Day. (March 8th is widely celebrated in other countries on the same scale as Valentine's Day in America. Do not forget your girl on this of all days.) But I would spend very modestly until you know the girl to be sincere, reliable and solidly interested in you. ONCE ENGAGED, YOU SHOULD EXPECT TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE COSTS ASSOCIATED WITH THAT PROCESS, I.E., POLICE REPORTS, DRIVING LESSONS, ENGLISH LESSONS, TRAVEL TO HER INTERVIEW SITE, TRAVEL TO YOUR COUNTRY AND FILING FEES. None of these should overwhelm any guy who believes himself ready to support a wife and family. I once observed a Romance Tour Director begin his orientation in St. Petersburg by telling the guys “Look, let me give you some good advice right now. If any of these women asks you for money, drop her and move on. If any lady gives you any amount of s--t on this tour, drop her and move on. There will be hundreds of ladies other than her who would love to meet you for all the right reasons.” I thought to myself “Hmm, that's kind of a crude 'How-Do-You-Do.'” But years later, I realize he was right on for being so blunt. It doesn't matter if there were twenty, thirty or fifty guys on any given Romance Tour. There was always one who decided to ignore everything he was told in orientation and would inevitably get scammed out of something. I am completely convinced that most of the foreign women who submit profiles to International Marriage Agencies are decent, genuine ladies just trying to meet a nice man for all the right reasons. I believe this because I personally have met and interviewed hundreds of such women over the years. It would be irresponsible of me, however, to overlook the small percentage of foreign women - or men pretending to be women - who use international dating and marriage sites to lure unsuspecting guys into sending them money. A recent article from a Russian news-site describes a typical set-up: "The scam was wonderfully simple. On the Internet were placed photos of beautiful girls that were claiming to look for foreign husbands. Gullible grooms were sending future wives from Yoshkar-Ola money for travel expenses. And this was the end of the correspondence. 'A citizen of USA applied to the Ministry of Home Affairs complaining that a Russian woman received from him more than 2000 US Dollars in a fraudulent way', - says the press-secretary of the Ministry of Home Affairs, Anatoly Platonov. After receiving numerous complaints detectives of department 'K' arrested 4 people in Yoshkar-Ola. The most interesting thing is that it was not the women that were corresponding with foreign men but 2 guys. The beauties were only there to receive the money . They were paid $50 for each transfer." I can imagine how it might have felt to learn that lovely Russian lass you were writing to, pouring your heart and soul into each letter, was ultimately a big Russian brute named Vladimir and his equally loquacious cousin Ivan. I can see them laughing at each sentence you might have written. I am sure they cleverly waited through a few weeks of correspondence, giving you time to develop a serious interest in the girl you thought you were getting to know before writing one day to tell you the bittersweet news. “Honey, my sister's neighbor's cousin's hairdresser knows a girl who works for a travel agency with close ties to the US Embassy and can secure for me a tourist visa to come and visit you. We can finally meet! I can't wait! But (sob...) it seems not meant to be (boo hoo) because for me money is not possible (more sobbing.) Of course, you could send me the money - but it seems wrong for me to ask it of you. Perhaps you can consider it. It costs about $1100. Aren't I worth $1100? Why not Western Union some cash to me right now and I'll be there before you know it? And Honey, I'm bringing lingerie!” I shudder to think of how many men fell prey to this exact scenario over the years. One couple from California, he an American businessman and she his Russian bride, were tried and convicted a few years ago for defrauding men out of thousands of dollars . The man's wife posed as each client's prospective foreign bride, promising to come and visit if he paid the travel costs. Clients were let down at the last minute when they were notified she would not be able to make the trip due to unforeseen circumstances. Ouch!! It is amazing to me, how many times over the years someone has asked me what I think of a letter they have just received which says basically some version of the above. When I tell them it's an absolute scam, they simply don't believe me. I'll advise them to search the internet forums for posts from guys who have been fooled into sending money in this way but it's obvious they're too blinded by love and fantasy to face the inevitable let-down. I would guess roughly 25% of all the available profiles you will find to be scams designed to get into your wallet in some way. I want you -the serious foreign bride finder - to see beyond the lies to the very real love that most certainly waits for you. |
For answers to your questions about Foreign Bride Scams, I recommend my book: Foreign Bride 101 - A "How To" For Nice Guys! Questions answered around the "Scam" topic include: “BUT MY GIRL ALREADY HAS HER TOURIST VISA. SHE SCANNED IT AND SENT IT TO ME IN MY EMAIL. SURELY THAT'S NOT A SCAM... RIGHT?” “I HAVE BEEN WRITING TO A FOREIGN GIRL WHO IS ASKING ME TO SEND MONEY TO PAY FOR INTERNET COSTS. IS THIS TYPICAL AND HOW MUCH SHOULD I SEND?” "MY FOREIGN GIRL IS ASKING ME TO BUY HER A COMPUTER AND A CELL PHONE SO WE COULD COMMUNICATE BETTER AND MORE OFTEN. THIS SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA... IS IT?" “I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO HELP A GIRL I AM WRITING TO PAY FOR URGENT MEDICAL EXPENSES FOR HER OR A MEMBER OF HER FAMILY. SHOULD I SEND MONEY IN THIS CASE?” “I PLAN TO PARTICIPATE IN A ROMANCE TOUR AND AM WRITING TO SEVERAL LADIES I EXPECT TO MEET. ONE IS SUGGESTING WE MEET AT A MALL OR AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT FOR A FIRST DATE. IS THIS TYPICAL AND ACCEPTABLE?” “MY GIRL TELLS ME SHE WILL COOK ME A HOME MADE MEAL BUT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ALOT OF FOOD. SHOULD I TAKE HER SHOPPING TO BUY SOME?” “MY FOREIGN GIRL AND I HAVE SPENT CONSIDERABLE TIME TOGETHER, HAVE BECOME INTIMATE AND ARE APPLYING FOR THE FIANCEE VISA, YET DESPITE ALL THIS SHE REFUSES TO SAY SHE LOVES ME. SHE SAYS IT IS TOO EARLY. DOES THIS MAKES SENSE?” “I HAVE BEEN CORRESPONDING WITH A RUSSIAN GIRL FOR A FEW MONTHS AND SHE IS SUGGESTING WE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A PLACE LIKE FRANCE, OR TURKEY. SHE SAYS SHE CAN PURCHASE A VERY AFFORDABLE TRAVEL PACKAGE FOR US IF I SEND HER MONEY. WHAT SHOULD I THINK ABOUT THIS?” |
Be careful when women's profiles reveal too much! |
| Foreign women can express their beauty without compromising their values. |
| Eastern European women have a natural flair for presentation in everything they do...in the way they bake a cake, sew a dress or pose for a photograph! |
| Autumn bridge in Russia. |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
More About Women From:
 | |  | |  | |  |